Irresistable....

me? ahaha... empphh tiru shidee... bese laa tu,
shedee: udah bee tueeshedee: irresistable nyer stokbchan: urm...bchan: kalo idakbchan: takkan dd datg balikbchan: menagih nomo tiponbchan: yer dakshedee: hotel la kotbchan: im soooo irrestebel laa niebchan: hotel ?bchan: urm..bchan: tolong ler sebey2 kanshedee: bleh kotshedee: diary kapabchan: asal?shedee: bdk2 bese bwk tamu keshedee: takshedee: dlm dairy abg mcm adashedee: diaryshedee: dairy milk apa daashedee: kalau lepak umah tazah yg kamceng ngan abg ok?shedee: ke tabeshbchan: tanakbchan: b tau laa stoknyer camnebchan: aiseyshedee: nak dtg bulan Brp niebchan: bukan dak kenaibchan: laashedee: apa yg aisehbchan: abg kata abg balik sinibchan: kalo abg idka balikshedee: aaaaabchan: idak
perbualan pd mlm nie ahahah.. mmg byk pujian2 dr die.. well.. take dat as a compliment, if he's not being sincere.. i will know, but juz imagine 5-6 yrs we still be friends

penat rinie, soo tired, even at home, still doin some research, yeah, i like this, not complaint, i dont have nybody i this is what i shud do, focus on my career..
want to go to cairo next yr, which i will, buying laptop, soon hahaha....
got to stop ere....

tired & sleepy even after cappucino...............................

I want To bREak FrEE

I want to break free........... m a free woman now, i realized evrything yesterday, and m not doing the same fucking mistakesssssssss again, it was really a mistake!

i thank to god for his energy, feels sooo blessed cos he opened up my heart, make me see things clearly.. atlast.... i wont be cheated with his act after this, wether he crawl, beg.. its empty...

work- its wonderful, believed me! im looking forward to close deal by after hari raya, m giving my self after dat, for senior mgt position, god plese help me heheheh....

i wish to go to cairo next yr, i have special tour guide thre ...

love is wonderful, love is great... when u know what love is really mean, happiness is in u, when u r happy, its really projected... believe me!

dEcisiOn MakIn'

Purple.... feels like to cry now, dunno y....congratulation to me... got a new job, well m lookin forward to... start fresh start new.. gud luck comes in 3... the next one is... he wants me back, well, m tired being a gf, being a fiance.. i want to be a wife... great wife... dats a bout it.. he believes what her fren told her compare to me.. well to be frank, m happy now, wif or without him. but i dont have the OriGinAliTy why did he wants me back!!! I juz need for the truth n sincerity.. i gave up most of my male frens.. cos i want to clear up my mind, i want to be ma self... enjoying evry moment in my life... he askd me to wear the ring back, asked me weather ive changed or not, well... if i want to change it for my self certainly.. i can be happy, i can be love... i feels all of that.... and y out of sudden he wants me back!

talking bout men, my sifu did know what i want in a men, what a criteria that ive wished for... but now... i want to focus in my career, i want to work hard, i want to travel so see all god's creation for man.. its not all.. my self is more important, yes m being selfish, what do i get from him, its not about being sincere or not, m being sincere for all the times.. m being positive, try to... be positive all the way, i have god who alwiz lead me, i have my sife as a medium, i have my sis as a sparing partner, i have spirtual frens who alwiz being guided all the time... oh yes.. we r move to the next level... which is im soooooooo blessed!

Life- put as a green colour.... i dont want to think about realtionship, cos at the moment, m soo afraid or realationship.. men comes wif intension, not being sincere n truthful to me.. m happy at the moment wif evrythg, i know that he was the love of my life.. but well... what do u xpected after he juz leave u like that, yes i know, ive took all the positive things from it, and yeah... i dont know who shud i trust, who shud i spend mylife wif... m soo afraid of this, im soo broken, m soo down, been thre, suffer that, i dont want dat is happening again, god.. please guide me...

i dont want dis interupt my emotional stability and of cos my spiritual power! i will make sure nothing will disturb, future is uncertain, i know, nothing is forever, i aware this.. but the most important thing is i want to be happy, m happy rite now, i love my self more den nything... i soo blessed and thankful what god has lead me, till now.. to let me feel his energy, i dont want to be contradict, when m alone, i know what i want, but when m wif him... i dont know what i want.. :((, i dont want to be sad nymore... no rain in my heart...

nothing more, nothing less, juz be happy, if it is the best
bind my heart, bind my sould, bind from any harm that will course
tru the nite across the day
i know my happiness will be in every way
love myself, love is everything
thank god for makin me feel dis way.

spread the LOVE... energy
spread the HAPPINESS energy

Since U've Been Gone~

Life never been better than now, dont have to wake up to cook anymore hahaha... well, i did it for love u know...and njoyg life like dis, less commitment.. less responsibility, b4 u love nybody, u have to LLOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE ur self i love ma self, i enjyg life like dis.. really.. tayah nak pening pala to think bout other xcept ppl dat conected to u spritually... ;)..
breakfast wif all the spritual frens.. urm.. dat is y m being more spritual tonite kut, mls lak nak tulis cheque, sleepy, mandi pon lom hahahah
2mrw my last day working, settle evrythg.. settle all the karma...

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

Behind these HaZel Eyes...
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Yup, now i can breath, i can do my thingy without hesitation, i dont have to depend on others, i know u want it more and more, i can see dat, i can feel dat... well, juz go and f*** around by urself.. got much ****** *** than u.. oh my, sounds so bitchy, well, yeah its juz a feelin, my wish was granted, i dont have to c him for the rest of my beautiful life ever... i dont want to waste ny beautiful moment and lovely time for him... oh it was a stupid thing that i commited b4, cant imagine y i cant break it b4, b4 we're gone till this shitin' yrs.. oh my... pity me yeah cos so ***** blind, love... na.. now much better... i dont have to serve him or who ever now... i deserves some1 much much much and much better than him... cut off emotionally, finally, juz bring a karma and bad luck series... u want me to come back to u? in the future perhaps? oh my... not even in my next life my dear... m not a thing that u cud take and use whenever u wanted... i wont sacrifice nythg nymore... i've wasted my 3 beautiful yrs wif u which i cud get some1 better than u at that time.... urm.. yup my mistake my bad.. i cant c things clearly.. whatever... i dont want to think about it, cos it makes me sick, sickly sick when to think it over... self motivated hahaha... its gud, b positive... urm... i dont know how u want to gain ur confidence hah! whatver...life is great, i dont want to end, when we've parted and when its end.... halleluyah ( x speling)

I Hope I dOnT faLL iN loVe wiTh U..

You keep saying you've got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin'
and now someone else is gettin' all your best.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha!
I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Now, m walking over all of u, the dream was nice, thanx to god to give the glanced yeah its because dat is what ive wished, not the exact view, nyway... m thankful i know he's thre, i know i what shud i do now.. it makes me feel much better..... bored, m so bored today.. its raining...hungry abit, loose more weight, not complaining ya.. m juz happy with my achivement.. nex wik will go dinner wif my frens at ph, quiet some times didnt go thre.. well.. this time manage to go.. ive got my happy life again, n really understand dat, no one cud makes me happy except my self, atleast i didnt hang up my problem like such a person, i solved it, ive settle it, what ever evrybody think of me, its not my problem nymore... love is everywhre... spread the love and happines energy.................................... :-*

I Hope I dOnT faLL iN loVe wiTh U..

Well, I hope that I don't fall in love with you.
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue.
When the music plays and you display your heart for me to see.
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me.
And, I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

Well, the room is crowded, people everywhere.
And I wonder should I offer you a chair.
Well, if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it.
Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it.
And, I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

Well, the night does funny things inside a man.
This old tom-cat feelings you don't understand.
Well, I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette.
I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we've never met.
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome, just like me.
And it being late, you'd like some company.
Well, I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me.
The guy you're with has up and split, the chair next to you is free.
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me.

It's closing time, the music's fading out.
Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout.
Well, I turn around to look at you, you're nowwhere to be found.
I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round.

And I think that I just fell in love with you.

dOnt

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

Girl, you know you got me, got me
With your pistol shot me, shot me
And I'm here helplessly
In love and nothing can stop me
You can't stop me cause once I start it
Can't return me cause once you bought it
I'm coming baby, don't got it (don't make me wait)
So let's be about it

No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart

Baby, have some trustin', trustin'
When I come in lustin', lustin'
Cause I bring you that comfort
I ain't only here cause I want ya body
I want your mind too
Interestin's what I find you
And I'm interested in the long haul
Come on girl (yee-haw)

(come on)

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart

Girl, you had me, once you kissed me
My love for you is not iffy
I always want you with me
I'll play Bobby and you'll play Whitney
If you smoke, I'll smoke too
That's how much I'm in love with you
Crazy is what crazy do
Crazy in love, I'm a crazy fool

No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart

Why are you so insecure
When you got passion and love her
You always claimin' I'm a cheater
Think I'd up and go leave ya
For another seáorita
You forgot that I need ya
You must've caught amnesia
That's why you don't believe

(uh, yeah, check it out)

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby

Baby girl, you make me feel
You know you make me feel so real
I love you more than sex appeal
(Cause you're)
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [5x]

[overlapping]
No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart
No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) [4x]

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby

Life seems much better and better... i dont have to complaint nything, m juz... share, shedee sms.. cam x puas hati jek when i mention bout his name... no feeling, juz neutral, well... this is what i want, i wished for... now, juz wait for the rite moment... things will happen... i believe dat.. wish me luck everybody in my next journey, i dont want the same pattern, keep away from any bad intension...

I FinaLLy found my Love, Life, Happiness and most of all.... the truth and sincerity....

We were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we’d have to go through
Now here we are, I’m suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Knew there was somebody, somewhere
A new love in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I’ve been waiting so long
Nothing’s gonna tear us apart

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I’ll be there when the world stops turning
I’ll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Yeah

Life is a road that I wanna keep going on
Love is a river, I wanna keep going

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Anastasia ost...

Love -- i found it, its in me... not thre not the other side, but in me... thanx to u god... i feel so much alive.. to move on, to continue my journey of life...

Life -- yup... m on my track back, already xplode but now... i wont turn back, keep on moving, juz a glance ... waiting juz maybe... not so sure bout that... no expectation juz enjoy my life... i swear ill try to listen his advice err... er...

Happiness -- urm... hapiness yup its all in me, only me who allowed myself how deep i want to be, how sad i want to be, what i want to be.. :)... yup, already what i wish for.. devoted all my life to god, to be one of his greatest servant... to experince god... that's life ..!

Truth n sincerity -- na... i want to see the truth realize the truth, and feel it.. i will know, i will be alwis sincere n truthful... i dont intend to get something in return cos.. it shows.. i have to change my self 1st, gud attitude, positive all the way, be happy, thankful to god, no worries.. heheh.. DONT COMPLAINT! the most important things..

shidee, afaz, k.ida... yup those got my blog add... i am sincere towards all of u, including im as well, but its like... if u r not sincere being my fren cant forced u, its within urself actually, now m move on not turning back... juz a glance, and waiting... maybe,.. i dunno... m happy like dis, when we parted today.. oh ya.. i cud c the whole picture of evrything... ended my karma, i wont start another karma, oh god please.. mus thanx for the advice, know that u didnt read this, plus take care of ur lovely wife.. hehehe...
i make my self clear... oh yeah david.. i dont know what to do wif u, yes m happy to be wif u, make me wiser, dis and dat, but thres no comitment, yes life is fun, but, u have to add responsibilty as well... it will make it complete... but really, if u want to be happy not cos the one u love, not bout being rich.. or what... its u.. when u cud find ur happiness inside ur self... u know.. ull understand.. life is juz a big jokes... dats all...
im, my was im, thanx for those 3yrs.. though not much dat i cud learnd from u, but atleast i know the truth in sincerity, from u david n didi, so many Ds hahaha...
i learnd my lesson well, this hardship, this karma, this series bad luck... not balming nybody... but i am happy to be alone means single single compare to have fling here and there, i want to focus on my work... i have a lots of love... i will spread all thoe love... cos m happy.... life is simple when u r really understand about it.... buena noches evrybody... happy, pleasure to know all of u... to me.. its not an end.. but juz the beginning..

what is sincere, what is not, what is gud, what is bad.. define gud, define bad....

LifE -- i know what is sincere what is not, that is my wish and god granted the wish.. am i sad, yes, a bit, cos, its really painful, when u r sincere but the other party is not, but well, god showed it to me.. tru his medium, what ive suspected is true, yeah that is y m sad of, actually nothing to be sad of, its like... yeah.. i already cut off wif him what.. no need further explaination.. what shud i be sad cos of that reason, i shud be thankful to god cos he show me the truth and sincerity....

ForeVER -- nothing is forever, journey is endless, but we live forever and ever.. urm.. love is sweet, juz enjoying the moment now, to be part of this world, to be positive, feeling much better, and m soo greatful cos of his decision, this thing happend, yeah... i know i learned from hard way now, but atleast i know how does it feel exactly, this is my journey, that is my past, love is around me, and i know my love will last....

ReD-- i alwis love this colour, i know y, that is y its called redvenus ma... heheheh... maybe too much red kot, well, i think, lack of green... lies end, truth will show, it is what u want, well now i can see the truth...

Work -- when talk about work, i dunno what to comments what to say, and what to do... juz let it be.. juz follow the flow.. feeling much better now than ever....


thanks sifu, my sis and frens... hahahaha HIDUP SIHAT NIKMAT

Endlessly LiFE....

Sleepy... soooooo sleeeeeeeppyyyyy... tired, my eyes looked like m not been sleeping for a week ( accordg to my sis).. i dunno... maybe... tired, load of works. this and that....

LonELy... feels soo lonely n msg to my sifu, and him, naa nothing much now lah... juz b happy but m sleepy hahahah... shedee keep sms me, i juz cant reply ur sms, i dont know y, let it be... 2mrw kitchen sampai and my divan, atlast.. urm... no men allowed on the bed, virgin bed.. hahah what a word...

LoVE.. well, m spreading the love energy, the happy energy, the peaceful energy, i want to be happy, i want to cut the bad luck series....

ZzZzZZzZZzzzzZZZ , cant think much, 2mrw got presenttn, well, ganbatte la... heheheh

is this what i alwiz wanted??

LiFE, ..... starting this journey until end which is never end actually, though nothing is forever, uncertain future, i already make my decision, this decision, ive submitted evrythg to god, i can see the truthful and sincerity... i will spread love and happiness energy all the way... tru... one last men that its hard for me to do, to let him go... but... sooner or later i have to do this as well, its juz a matter of time.... the soonest i cud get rid of him, the better my life will be....

i dont want my energy level been flopped, take away all by the negetive, i want to be more than stable, more than the best, i believe god will understand me... am i happy being like this... i am happy if my energy level cud be stable now, m cry, m suffer, go kuku, but it juz affect me, only me and god's divine energy , i dont want to try, i want to make things better for my self, be happy, be in love, be blessed, be thankful, no worries.. and it make my life more beautiful than ever....

TeARs, .... no more tears of sadness nymore, all the happy tears i will shed from now on... bind my heart, bind my soul, bind from any harm will cause... from now on, m on my own, totally, it will be beautiful... he doesnt need me nymore, well, in terms of need, what kind of need that i want and he wants,

It’s funny cause, for a while,I walked around with a smile but,

Deep inside, I could hear, voices telling me this ain't right.

Don’t you know, it’s not for you,I always knew what I had to do.

But it’s hard, to get away,Because I love you I just tried to stay.

I used to say I couldn’t do it but I did it,

After telling everybody that I wasn't with it,

Though it brings tears to my eyes, I can feel it

And I know inside I’ma be alright.I used to say

I couldn’t do it but I did it,

After telling everybody that I wasn't with it,

Though it brings tears to my eyes,

I can feel itAnd that voice inside says

I’m gonna be alright

Friends of mine, say to me,They say you got control over me.

You’re not alone, I played my part,

I saw the way you were from the start

Could I expect, so much from you,

You had a girl when I first met you.

Did the best that you could do

Now I realize I can't change you

Said I wouldn't walk away,

Some days I want to stay,

But leaving you is what I need to do to be okay.

Never thought it would be true,

Me livin' without you,

But now it's time for me to make that move.

Get rid of series bad luck, get rid of everything, i have rights to do what ever ive wanted and wish for... best of days, dont gv a dirt, i know i will be amaze with the life that ive alwis wanted... amen

Well, cant resist to write again, m in ere..

Here I am playing with those memories again

And just when I thought time had set me free

Those thoughts of you keep taunting me

Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew

Though each and every part of me has tried

Only you can fill that space inside

So there’s no sense pretending

My heart it’s not mending

Just when I thought I was over you

And just when I thought I could stand on my own

Oh baby those memories come crashing through

And I just can’t go on without

On my own I’ve tried to make the best of it alone

I’ve done everything I can to ease the pain

But only you can stop the rain

I just can’t live without you

I miss everything about you

nothing more nothing less, feel i cud tru this, thanx shedee that u cud understand, thanx to evry men that cud understand, this path its not ez in the beginning, i know, to build up back, to keep on track back, but m sure i cud do dat, manage dat, surpass dat, been thre done dat, hahhaah...stop the crush, stop the fling, i dont need that crush as well as the fling, life's will be great, life's will be beautiful, i dont live in fantasy but i am actress to this play, thou nite is cold without u, and day is hotter without u, but ur decision makes me choose this path, m happy, i let go, let u know what m feel, to u n evybody, feel much better, i know i will be fine, i will follow ur advice, gud advice from evrybody... i know that m stubborn, and m alwiz have a soft spot, all ppl got soft spot oso... no hatred, no grundge, no cursing... spread the love and happines and peaceful energy... err quit smoking not stop...

only ur self makes cud make do whatever u want to, to be happy, to be hurt, to be annoying, ur self cud allowed that, life... take it in a positive way... HIDUP SIHAT NIKMAT!