hide and seek

Eeheh... put my photo at my blog, its quite sometimes i didnt update it. So far so gud, thing moves rapidly, my period of some journey ended quite fast, m tired to waste my energy, to focus on men, well, its all predicted, their moves, tots and all, m tired and i dont want to get involve with anything nymore... its not sad, cos i want to set my track back to better path, m a teaser, m gud in enuff to **** around if i want to, when it comes so ezly, makes me bored and naaahh.... it is bored, he still cute as b4, ahaha.... u know who

m aware of my environment, my sorroundings, at this point, i dont want to do nything, juz set my track back, men can come and go, if they want to fuck around go ahead, but not wif me, thank to god who took me back from my old stage and blessed where i belongs now. i wont look back not anymore, for what purpose, on what ground, angerness, sadness its all passed, now, at this point i just want to be me, me me me its all about me of course. i need to define evrythg. God, thank you for loving me, and guide me untill dis stage, fwens i o u a lot of things.... bind my heart, bind my soul, bind from any harm dat will cause.... make me wise, make me peace, a bit down today, well dats part of the journey today, m fine wif nything, take it positively....

More and More.... less is leftOut

Gloomy as today, my heart i mean but well, i dont want to choose that feelings, i dont want to call it as a mistakes, but i forgot a few my guideline, my life rules and regulations, dat is y i choose this colour, as grey as my heart, i dont know y i choose this way now, feels want to cry, but naah.. its juz a small matters, after all i know what i want and i have to be prepared, no guilt and no nothing, juz neutral, feel, be and act neutral...

Its not a wrong moves, but stupidito(zarin's word) ahaha... anyway i've njoyed evry moment dat is y i have to stop its not of beeing wrong, stupid or guilt but, i dont want dat, enuff for now, as simple as dat, what is the past remains as it is, juz enjoy the present and making a gud and rite desicion for ur life, if i have to choose this, well i have to bear the consiquences and be responsible for what i've done, yeah advicing a fren bout love, but look at me... i know how to feel the love, feel the happiness if i choose to, if not, m being fucked up for the rest of mylife, what for, juz bear in mind, its not the other person makes u complete but share completeness wif other person, very inspiring really, life is not to discover but seek who u are and what you want to be, seek for the truth and the truth will set u free.. not damned lucky but blessing lucky....

Yes i am, blessing lucky, my weekend is very thoughful and meaningful, still i count it as a luxury moments, u cant buy experienced of course... this is what ive chose so bear wif it, god its not interfere in making decision i mean choices, well, dont blame him u couse ur own faulty, waiting for my coach to call me up..

Still feeling sad, not that sad sad but i dont know, its not hurt either but i dont know, maybe more to dissapointed a bit in terms of my stupid choices, which i have to bbe very2 careful next time in short future.. which i dont want to talk bout future of course, some ppl wont or they dont want to understand, am i dat delicate as sheede said, m am dat bimbo dat eim sd, m i dat cute as awal sd, i dont know, what i know is whatever it is, love urself, cherishd urself and dont be contradict, its not gud for ur subconcious mind

What is need to be done, i will, thre wont be any next time from now on, be it, face it, whether whoever or whatevr call me later, i dont care and i dont want to know, be self centered, and ther real meaning of self-centerd not that kind of selfish yeah of course, m sickly sick wif myself now, part of it, its all bout me like eim said, well the heaven i care now, care nothing more, care nothing less, for heaven that i've longed for, its god that m wanting more, after 1 feeling and yet another feelings, dats me! being a cancerian, nobody allowed to understand me, my moves of course u cant predict, u can only see the top part only, for whoever is ... well enjoy evrythg and desire nothing.... well...

Its end quite well wif him, afterall this is what i choose to be, a lot of philosophy, me? really, experienced tot me to be betterment in present, bout him, wikenders our wikend was great tho m dissapointed quite if not y i do feel gloomy, anyway, to be more specific, i dont blame him, totaly, after all it takes two to tango... Juz enjoyg my present, let go all my past, let go all the sadness, this is not what i want to have, being fucked up all off sudden, being happy, being sincere, god please guide me, to be more being happy and bless in the future.

You need to stop playin’ ‘round
with all them clowns and the wangstas
Good girls gotta get down with the gangstas
Go ahead girl put some back and some neck up on it
While I stand up in the background and check up on it

Ooo boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over and check up on it
(I’ma let you work up on it)
Ladies let him check up on it
(Watch it while he check up on it)
Dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it
Check on me tonight

If you got it, flaunt it
Boy I know you want it (Ooo)
While I turn around (you)
Watch me check up on it
Ooo, you watchin’ me shake it
I see it in your face
You can’t take it, it’s blazin’
You watch me in amazement

You can look at it
As long as you don’t grab it (Ooo)
If you don’t go braggin’ (you)
I might let you have it
You think that I’m teasin’
But I ain’t got no reason
I’m sure that I can please you
But first I gotta read you

Ooo boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over and check up on it
(I’ma let you work up on it)
Ladies let him check up on it
(Watch it while he check up on it)
Dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it
Check on me tonight

Ooo boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over and check up on it
(I’ma let you work up on it)
Ladies let him check up on it
(Watch it while he check up on it)
Dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it
Check on me tonight

I can tell you wanna taste it
But I’m gon’ make you chase it (Ooo)
Got to be patient (you)
I like my men patient, more patient
Your take might get you in more places
You can’t be abrasive
You have to know what pace is

If I let you get up on it
You got to make a promise (Ooo)
That you gon’ put it on me (you)
Like no one’s put it on me
Don’t bore me, just show me (no)
All men talk but don’t please
I can be a tease
But I really wanna please you

Ooo boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over and check up on it
(I’ma let you work up on it)
Ladies let him check up on it
(Watch it while he check up on it)
Dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it
Check on me tonight

Be Strong and Be Still

today, slept at 8 in the morning... this pc is very lagging, watch WC last nite, now writting like a diary.. what do i feel today.... neutral .... very neutral, him, i hate to talk about men & relationship now, hate is not a suitable word, juz dont want to talk about it... maybe i juz woke up and dunno whats spinning in my head now, i know what to do, i know how to deal wif things, but sometimes i do make a mistakes, after all its juz a human side that evrybody's have it, the situation, life situation not a problem, its part of the journey which everybody have to face it, now, to make a choice and desicion its a very tough still sometimes its very hard for me to choose the rite one, shit new bleach is already out, need to go to BB to find new dvd uuwaaa, a lot of things happend in my life, and m feel lucky blessed, strange ya but its true, i know if i can handle these things for sure, its shud be fine in the future and also its part of my joureny of life that ive choose b4...

The thing works actually, but naaa that is past which is 2-3 wiks ago, i dont want to toture nybody, the fun is over ahaha, now back to normal me which i have to focus on my work, and feel it run smoothly, hungry, need to defrost the chicken 1st, i dnt y i have to think bout nonsense nymore, him, juz ignore him, m tired of him, evrythg dat he did got hiding msges, we dont belong to each other nymore , y dont u juz fuck off 4rm mylife , i dont like to curse but, y can he stick wif he's dcsn that he made, i dont want to know and i dont need to know bout dat, its over and i already be glad wif it, this is what happend if u being so stubborn, which well, ive changed a lot of things in mylife, lifestyle, a lot of things, improvin myself to be much better person for myself, serve well 4 myself, no expectation, enjoy evrything and desire nothing, living by a moment, counting my blessing evryday and anythg evrythg dat passes me by....

after dis my life would be much greater somehow i feel deep inside me, i dont know y, and no question bout it, and i do feel... enjoy the feelings, things alwis happenf, no matter what, who, when or anytgh, but do alwis do re-member than u will discover somethg tremendously will happen afterwards. I juz want to gain more knowledge, re-member me, exprience life( the way it shud be rite) whichit most important, channel the energy to much place needed, it knows how it work, no big deal bout that, andlastly, alwis be positive, they r ur mirror......

intriguing.... day...

Need more energy to move on, to fin the day today...really... m tired and sickly sick wif this and dat, m i make a wrong moves, m i make a wrong decision, big mistake after a mistakes, i dunno, heart u cant denied bout it, chest pain, bear evrythg... alone, but m not lonely, i dont want to be lonely, and m not. i know i cant totaly blame him on what was happening b4, like & lust i guess.. nah.... no worries to my self, i wish i cud change dat now,tired of feelings like this today, i hate to be angry, but once it touch my pride n dignity.. dat's it, put the stop put an end, my life wont be miserable, untill the end.

no songs to share today, no question to be answered today, i know m not cheap, m not having all the way fun wif all those i dont know whoever are they, i still haf my pride and dignity, m not judgemental, who m i to judge, its cos of the likes of u, m become cheap on his eyes, OMG, now i realized dat its a situation that playin wif fire, this is y hate to like somebody, i cant handle some of things, him... i dont know, and at this point i dont want to know, y shud i know, can it makes any diffrent, if become better ok la, but if not,i dont to know,

sad mode... after angry mode, hurm.... whatever it is, i just enjoy the feelings that passed me by, i shud be thankful and feel blessed evry second that passed by, i didnt complaint what had happen today ya, i feels like.. is it hard to be good, no, but the saddest part is when ur kindness turn to backfire yourself... He went to embassy if not, i can alwis talk to him... and cry wif him.... his rival, u can creat love, but i like to just let it flow...